I liked my own poem that I wrote this week. I based this poem off Howe's The Beast. In that poem its mainly about sexually encounters with a men. I decided to take a different turn it make it about something that is more playful. I read over all the comments and agree with the majority of them with a little more time to restructure the first part and grammatical errors fixed. I believe this poem has a lot of potential.
Revised Poem
Hearing the sounds
of torture and cries for help
from the living room. Where only
fun filled memories supposed to be held.
Someone is helplessly pleading her case
for anyone to hear
I am listening for that vulnerable voice
wondering what this living thing has
forced on a human being.
I gazed into her eyes and asked
Where is it? Has it
left you hear alone
The day ends, she leaves
early in the morning again for awhile
returning only to be worn out
and out of breath.
This time I sat patiently on the sofa
wishing she would walked through
the door. Finally, it happens.
she bursts through the door
into the kitchen, calmly
reaching in the refrigerator for
a bottle of water. Eventually turning
around saying, it's a dog you know
Saturday, February 6, 2010
#12
I am really not a fan of haiku's personally. I have a hard time writing them, because hard to put a definite meaning in three short sentences. A haiku must paint a mental image in the reader's mind. It is real hard to put meaning and imagery in the lines. At times, I have trouble coming with images in poems that may come so easy to others. However, in the packet we read for this week there was one particular haiku that really threw me out but many of my classmates seemed to like it?
Etheridge Knight
Making jazz swing in
Seventeen syallabes AIN'T
No square poet's job
I was like am I missing something or what? cause that theme just went straight over my head. I think when we discussed it in class it made more sense to me. Normally, an haiku includes themes like nature, feelings, or experiences. This haiku didnt fit that description at all, I was expecting something to that nature.
Etheridge Knight
Making jazz swing in
Seventeen syallabes AIN'T
No square poet's job
I was like am I missing something or what? cause that theme just went straight over my head. I think when we discussed it in class it made more sense to me. Normally, an haiku includes themes like nature, feelings, or experiences. This haiku didnt fit that description at all, I was expecting something to that nature.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
#11
Original Sonnet
Love is the ability to love inspite of
Unless that love is anything like us
They'd have no clue of the sacrifices it took to get here
of pain, of misery, of brand new wounds
Wounds that will never heal and leave a ugly scar
But I am still beautiful in my dreams
Sitting gracefully on my pedestal
I look up to you in a crazy way
So say your prayers and come along now
down the river where we can splash loud
water runs down, inking over dirt faces
We washed and washed to remove our stains
still foul, dirty creatures of God
Revised Sonnet
Love is the ability to love in spite of.
Unless that love is anything like us,
they'd have no clue of the sacrifices it took to get here
of pain, of misery, of brand new wounds.
Wounds that will never heal and leave a scar
but still I am gorgeous in my own dreams.
Sitting gracefully on my pedestal,
I look up to you in a loving way.
High above the clouds and the clear blue sky
So I said my rightful prayers and went down
the peaceful river where I splashed aloud,
water runs down, inking over my face.
I tried desperately to remove the stains
but I was still foul, dirty creatures of God
Love is the ability to love inspite of
Unless that love is anything like us
They'd have no clue of the sacrifices it took to get here
of pain, of misery, of brand new wounds
Wounds that will never heal and leave a ugly scar
But I am still beautiful in my dreams
Sitting gracefully on my pedestal
I look up to you in a crazy way
So say your prayers and come along now
down the river where we can splash loud
water runs down, inking over dirt faces
We washed and washed to remove our stains
still foul, dirty creatures of God
Revised Sonnet
Love is the ability to love in spite of.
Unless that love is anything like us,
they'd have no clue of the sacrifices it took to get here
of pain, of misery, of brand new wounds.
Wounds that will never heal and leave a scar
but still I am gorgeous in my own dreams.
Sitting gracefully on my pedestal,
I look up to you in a loving way.
High above the clouds and the clear blue sky
So I said my rightful prayers and went down
the peaceful river where I splashed aloud,
water runs down, inking over my face.
I tried desperately to remove the stains
but I was still foul, dirty creatures of God
Sunday, January 31, 2010
#10
Mary's Argument
To lead the uncommon life is not so bad.
There is an edge we come to count on
when all the normal signs don't speak,
a startled vigilance that keeps us waking
to watch the moon, the peculiar stars;
the usual, underfoot, no more a solid comfort
than a rock that might move as a turtle moves,
so slowly only the nervous feel the sudden bump
of the familiar giving way to unrequested astonishment.
And for a small time, the sheer cliff of everything
we never knew can rise in front of us
like the warm dark, where the starlight
has its constant conception, where the idea of turtle
blinked and was: a wry joke, an intricate affection
What I got of this poem is that the author accepting that things in life for what they are. She realizes that life is not perfect and it okay to deal with problems and complication that may arise. She is walking through life paying close attention to the sign that the nature gives her. She uses the star and moon as metaphors for guidance that might help her through the obstacles life may bring. The author is already in her comfort zone dealing with the normal aspects of life. Then in the line 6, she says the usual, underfoot, no more a solid comfort. It shows how she has to step out of what she is used to and deal with things that are not planned.The author uses a turtle to create a imagery about life. How slow life seems to appear and unclear to her. She has to take things slower than usual and find new ways to be successfully.
I don't know if I'm right or not but a can also see this poem from the aspect of Mary being a virgin and comparing it to life. How in the beginning she was indeed a virgin and could basically predicate everything that will happen in her life. Then, unfortunately things change and she is force into a unfamiliar view of life and she writing this poem to remind herself that you can make it through any situation that may occur. You just have to think it through thoroughly and know you are going to make the right decisions.
To lead the uncommon life is not so bad.
There is an edge we come to count on
when all the normal signs don't speak,
a startled vigilance that keeps us waking
to watch the moon, the peculiar stars;
the usual, underfoot, no more a solid comfort
than a rock that might move as a turtle moves,
so slowly only the nervous feel the sudden bump
of the familiar giving way to unrequested astonishment.
And for a small time, the sheer cliff of everything
we never knew can rise in front of us
like the warm dark, where the starlight
has its constant conception, where the idea of turtle
blinked and was: a wry joke, an intricate affection
What I got of this poem is that the author accepting that things in life for what they are. She realizes that life is not perfect and it okay to deal with problems and complication that may arise. She is walking through life paying close attention to the sign that the nature gives her. She uses the star and moon as metaphors for guidance that might help her through the obstacles life may bring. The author is already in her comfort zone dealing with the normal aspects of life. Then in the line 6, she says the usual, underfoot, no more a solid comfort. It shows how she has to step out of what she is used to and deal with things that are not planned.The author uses a turtle to create a imagery about life. How slow life seems to appear and unclear to her. She has to take things slower than usual and find new ways to be successfully.
I don't know if I'm right or not but a can also see this poem from the aspect of Mary being a virgin and comparing it to life. How in the beginning she was indeed a virgin and could basically predicate everything that will happen in her life. Then, unfortunately things change and she is force into a unfamiliar view of life and she writing this poem to remind herself that you can make it through any situation that may occur. You just have to think it through thoroughly and know you are going to make the right decisions.
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